1/10/2023

 I am still dealing with a lot of grief and disbelief and just how everything has gone down with my health issues, and how I've been treated in community. Still very much impacted by health issues that are not resolved I have the intelligence to know that my health is treatable my modern medicine, and the lack of ability to access that treatment is a very serious, heartbreaking issue that needs to be addressed. I will be addressing it for the rest of my life. Health issues are not a choice. Things got way out of hand because I wasn't taken serious. It is clear that there are many misconceptions about my health, and people treat me accordingly. I was made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcomed in a community space this past weekend because of misconceptions. I am not okay with this. Community shouldn't be okay with it either, but here we are. Looking the other way, pretending we don't see the physical conditions. its a lot of grief. I don't feel safe or that I will be believed in talking about the details. I feel I have to wait until I have all my evidence, proof and facts in a nice tidy package, like a lawyer in a court case. Healthy until proven sick. I'm working on it. When I was healthy I was good at those type of things. Sometimes I wonder if the reason I'm still here is to address this steak of hate Ive witness in our community. I'm not going to shut up. I'm just going to figure out a way to communicate with the conditions I have. The lack of compassion, lack of communication is just so surreal, and is just a lot of hate for one person to deal with alone. The more this is ignored and swept under the rug, the more I know I have to find the health, strength and heart to speak up and out.