I hope I can share this experience. Its not funny or cute, so perhaps I am documenting this for my own personal wellbeing.
As a poly trauma survivor with a brain injury, head trauma and recovering from long term sepsis, I face a lot of discrimination.
What type of discrimination? Well, its one that's hard to describe sometimes. Its hard to put a finger on it, especially when so many people deny, dismiss and downplay the impact and severity when I try to speak out.
However my nervous system is highly attuned to these matters despite what community believes.
We actually develop some fierce survival strategies. Our bodies adapting to trauma doesnt mean we dont function, or loose our ability to think. Sometimes things like hypervillegience, awareness and response can look like super powers. It is adaptions to our neurology that is built for survival, not falling apart and becoming worthless.
As a survivor of abuse, I receive a LOT of judgment, criticism and judgement especially from communities that pride themselves on their open mindedness.
It impacts my ability to be a person in community. It means I can be targeted and people think I did something to provoke it.
People think. Oh she's exaggerating, that abuse she went through, it scrambled her brain, she can't think clearly, shes not taking responsibility.
Before I knew I was a survivor, I took responsibility for EVERYTHING.
people thought it was noble, and it kept the animosity and anger at a distance. As I've learned that many things are not my responsibility, I find that community disagrees and does not listen or care.
It means that I'm not capable of accessing the situation at hand,
It means that I have some sort of disease and that by associating with me, supporting me and allow me a seat at the table in means that I will poison the food, and I will let the riff raff in...
Judgments come in all kinds of forms. I've spent a lifetime observing and hiding the aspect of myself that call me out as a survivor, because thats what was needed for survival in community.
As I try to function with a brain injury and complicated health issues, it means that I lost that filter and ability to hide. This is something common in the world of Brain Injury. I am exposed, raw, and real as a survivor.
Some people will judge because they see something, a behavior, a thought an action. A survivor feeling sudden shame or guilt because of a certain topic being brought up.. and not being able to hide it.
It's when someone moves their hand to close to your face, and ducking... people judge.
Now most of the behaviors of survivors cause NO HARM, and it's about the subsconscious biases, and beliefs we hold
