Wednesday, September 13, 2023

What it's like with Survivor Neurology and being Targeted

 I hope I can share this experience. Its not funny or cute, so perhaps I am documenting this for my own personal wellbeing.

As a poly trauma survivor with a brain injury, head trauma and recovering from long term sepsis, I face a lot of discrimination.

What type of discrimination? Well, its one that's hard to describe sometimes. Its hard to put a finger on it, especially when so many people deny, dismiss and downplay the impact and severity when I try to speak out.

However my nervous system is highly attuned to these matters despite what community believes.

We actually develop some fierce survival strategies. Our bodies adapting to trauma doesnt mean we dont function, or loose our ability to think. Sometimes things like hypervillegience, awareness and response can look like super powers. It is adaptions to our neurology that is built for survival, not falling apart and becoming worthless.

As a survivor of abuse, I receive a LOT of judgment, criticism and judgement especially from communities that pride themselves on their open mindedness.

It impacts my ability to be a person in community. It means I can be targeted and people think I did something to provoke it.

People think. Oh she's exaggerating, that abuse she went through, it scrambled her brain, she can't think clearly, shes not taking responsibility.

Before I knew I was a survivor, I took responsibility for EVERYTHING.
people thought it was noble, and it kept the animosity and anger at a distance. As I've learned that many things are not my responsibility, I find that community disagrees and does not listen or care.

It means that I'm not capable of accessing the situation at hand,

It means that I have some sort of disease and that by associating with me, supporting me and allow me a seat at the table in means that I will poison the food, and I will let the riff raff in...

Judgments come in all kinds of forms. I've spent a lifetime observing and hiding the aspect of myself that call me out as a survivor, because thats what was needed for survival in community.

As I try to function with a brain injury and complicated health issues, it means that I lost that filter and ability to hide. This is something common in the world of Brain Injury. I am exposed, raw, and real as a survivor.

Some people will judge because they see something, a behavior, a thought an action. A survivor feeling sudden shame or guilt because of a certain topic being brought up.. and not being able to hide it.

It's when someone moves their hand to close to your face, and ducking... people judge.

Now most of the behaviors of survivors cause NO HARM, and it's about the subsconscious biases, and beliefs we hold

Saturday, March 11, 2023

Hopkins study suggests medical errors now third leading cause of death in the US

  • A recent Johns Hopkins study claims more than 250,000 people in the U.S. die every year from medical errors. Other reports claim the numbers to be as high as 440,000.
  • Medical errors are the third-leading cause of death after heart disease and cancer.
  • Advocates are fighting back, pushing for greater legislation for patient safety.

Saturday, February 25, 2023

Sometimes people think that I am on drugs or drunk when I'm just dealing with the aftermath of head trauma


I try to make sure people know whats going on, but sometimes people just want to belive what they want to. They judge. The pathologize trauma
@katharina.shry we support you!! @Lewis Capaldi #konzert #frankfurt #lewiscapalditour #foryou #fyp ♬ Originalton - 🤍

Tuesday, January 10, 2023


 I am still dealing with a lot of grief and disbelief and just how everything has gone down with my health issues, and how I've been treated in community. Still very much impacted by health issues that are not resolved I have the intelligence to know that my health is treatable my modern medicine, and the lack of ability to access that treatment is a very serious, heartbreaking issue that needs to be addressed. I will be addressing it for the rest of my life. Health issues are not a choice. Things got way out of hand because I wasn't taken serious. It is clear that there are many misconceptions about my health, and people treat me accordingly. I was made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcomed in a community space this past weekend because of misconceptions. I am not okay with this. Community shouldn't be okay with it either, but here we are. Looking the other way, pretending we don't see the physical conditions. its a lot of grief. I don't feel safe or that I will be believed in talking about the details. I feel I have to wait until I have all my evidence, proof and facts in a nice tidy package, like a lawyer in a court case. Healthy until proven sick. I'm working on it. When I was healthy I was good at those type of things. Sometimes I wonder if the reason I'm still here is to address this steak of hate Ive witness in our community. I'm not going to shut up. I'm just going to figure out a way to communicate with the conditions I have. The lack of compassion, lack of communication is just so surreal, and is just a lot of hate for one person to deal with alone. The more this is ignored and swept under the rug, the more I know I have to find the health, strength and heart to speak up and out.

What it's like with Survivor Neurology and being Targeted

  I hope I can share this experience. Its not funny or cute, so perhaps I am documenting this for my own personal wellbeing. As a poly traum...